ACT for Caregivers
Caring for someone you love can be meaningful—and also emotionally demanding. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based approach that helps caregivers respond to stress with greater flexibility, compassion, and clarity, while staying connected to what matters most.
ACT focuses on building psychological flexibility: the ability to stay present, open, and engaged in life—even when things are difficult.
The Six Core Skills of ACT
1. Acceptance
Making room for difficult thoughts and feelings
Acceptance means allowing uncomfortable emotions (such as guilt, grief, anger, or exhaustion) to be present without fighting or judging them.
Try this:
When a difficult feeling shows up, pause and say silently:
“This is hard—and I can allow it to be here for now.”
Notice where the feeling shows up in your body and take 3 slow breaths.
2. Cognitive Defusion
Creating space from unhelpful thoughts
Thoughts are not facts. Cognitive defusion helps you step back from distressing thoughts so they don’t run your life.
Try this:
When a painful thought appears, add the phrase:
“I’m noticing my mind is telling me…”
Repeat it slowly and observe how the thought feels less overwhelming.
3. Being Present
Coming back to the moment you’re in
Being present means gently returning your attention to what’s happening right now, rather than getting pulled into worries or regrets.
Try this:
Name 3 things you can see, 2 things you can hear, and 1 thing you can feel in your body.
No need to change anything—just notice.
4. Self-as-Context
You are more than your role or your struggles
You are not just “the caregiver” or “the overwhelmed one.” You are the observer of your experiences—not defined by them.
Try this:
Silently complete this sentence:
“I notice that I am having the experience of…”
This reminds you that there is a part of you that can step back and observe.
5. Values
Clarifying what truly matters to you
Values are qualities of living that guide how you want to show up—especially during hard times.
Examples: compassion, presence, patience, connection, balance.
Try this:
Ask yourself:
“In this situation, what kind of person do I want to be?”
Write down one value that feels important right now.
6. Committed Action
Taking small steps aligned with your values
Committed action means choosing doable actions that reflect your values—even when energy or motivation is low.
Try this:
Choose one small action you can take this week that aligns with a value you named (e.g., a 5-minute walk, asking for help, a moment of rest).
A Gentle Reminder
ACT doesn’t aim to remove stress or pain—it helps you change how you relate to them. You don’t need to feel better to live meaningfully. Small, values-based steps matter. You can care deeply—and still care for yourself.
Leilani M Norman 